This entry is dedicated to my friend Liz who came up with the idea of me taking a Cosmo quiz and posting my answers. I’m not quite sure she had this in mind though. So, without further ado, it’s time to find out:
Am I enough of a bad girl?
1) Which is the most outrageous thing you would do for cold, hard cash?
a) Star in a “Girls Gone Wild”- type video?
b) Sing a seductive pop song like “lovegame” at a karaoke bar
c) Play strip poker with a coed group of friends
Answer: I don’t think Carol would approve of the GGW type video (as fun as it would be), so I’m guessing “A” is out of the question. Plus, my breasts really aren’t that impressive. I stink at poker, so regardless of the fact that I have never even heard this song and have no idea what I’d be getting myself into, I think we’ll go with the karaoke song: “B”
2) Rumors swirl that your ex has been talking trash about you to mutual friends. How do you respond?
a) By sending him an angry text or voice mail warning that two can play the trash talking game
b) By lying low for a few weeks – you won’t descend to his level
c) By trying to seduce his best friend. If that fails, you key his car
Answer: Really? An angry text or voice mail? Is that what society has come to? What’s wrong with confronting someone face to face? It has to be digital? What happens if you try to send a voicemail but they actually pick the phone up? Do you hang up and wait until you’re hammered at 3:00 in the morning and then call hoping maybe he’s asleep this time? How pathetic. Speaking of pathetic, I’ll pick “B”. I avoid all confrontation – digital or not.
3) Your closest girlfriend always contacts you first when which of these situations arises
a) She has split with her boyfriend and wants a partner in crime for a very hot night out.
b) She wants to sip cocktails at a hip lounge all night…and needs a designated driver.
c) She craves fun company for a decadent day of shopping or spa treatments.
Answer: We’re only 3 questions in and I’m already feeling like I’m not living up to their standards as a bad girl. I think if one of my girlfriends wanted a very hot night out, I would be in trouble at home - you know, having a wife and all. I don’t think I’d be the number one choice for shopping or spa treatments (unless I’m the one giving the massage), so I think I’ll go with “B”. Not saying I won’t stop by Wendy’s on the way home, but I’ll get you there eventually.
4) The kind of men you usually find yourself dating best fit the following description
a) They’re in bed by 11:00 pm on weeknights, 1:00 am on weekends
b) They work hard and play even harder
c) So wild, they make “The Hangover” guys look like the Jonas brothers
Answer: “C” Next question please.
5) Which phrase are you most likely to overhear being said about you?
a) “Does she always act this crazy?”
b) “I want her at my next party”
c) “Did I do something to offend her?”
Answer: I’d like to think that I’m well liked and that people want me around. Even if they don’t, I show up anyway. That’s just how I roll. “B”
Results: Too good for your own good.
You have a naughty side, but for some reason, you keep it under wraps, where it does you no good. You may be suppressing your wildest impulses because you’re afraid you’ll be judged poorly, says Jody Lipper, coauthor of “How to Love Like a Hot Chick.” The result? You’re overlooked by guys and typecast by pals as the “responsible” one, says psychologist John Valentis, PhD, coauthor of “Brave New You.” Show some backbone when you get dissed and more skin than usual on Saturday night. A little badness is extremely sexy, and it prevents people from taking advantage of you.
Analysis: Firstly, I don’t find it fair that they judge me based on 5 extremely vague questions. I do plenty of bad ass things. I watch professional wrestling for pete’s sake. What’s more bad ass than that? Secondly, if these so called “professionals” know so much about this topic, how come they could only co-author their books. What, not bad-ass enough to write it yourself? Hmmm? And thirdly, since when is it bad to be responsible? Plus, if it’s bad to be responsible, wouldn’t that make me a rebel, and therefore, bad? I think so. I am a bad girl whether they like it or not.
Um.
ReplyDeleteA. You already have a karaoke video.
B. Lovegame is a lady gaga song, and u claim to kike her.
C. Lie low after being shit talked? Fuck that. Don't go to his level but don't let his stupid words send u into hiding, that makes what he said look like its true.
D. You are basing this on your wifes thoughts...so you think she is as wild as the hangover guys?
E. And you'd be suprised at a good spa day. Plus who the fuck wants to go out with only one other person to drown their sorrows only yo have them not drink?