It’s a randumb thoughts day.
Lilo is on her way to jail where, due to overcrowding, she’ll only end up serving about 23 days of her 90 day sentence. 23 days is still too long for me to be without her.
In a related story, the LAPD, E! Entertainment, and TMZ will be forced to lay off half of their staff due to a major lack of car chases, drug busts, domestic disputes, and general hot drunken girl debauchery. They will be called back to action in around 23 days.
I really need to start proof reading my blogs better.
I was a little nervous about posting yesterday’s blog about not being gay as I didn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea about my feelings towards the gay community. Just to make it perfectly clear I don’t care what you are, who you love, who you go to bed with, who you wake up with, or what you did with the hours in-between. As long as a person doesn’t hurt me, my family, or my friends, then I consider them a friend to me. Except for the gays. I can’t stand them.
That was a joke.
I really enjoy taking my friends money while playing poker. I enjoy it even more when I realize that I drank way too much and should not have been winning at all. And, I enjoy it even more than that when I look in my wallet 4 days later, find another $10, and remember that I had won that and put it away so that I wouldn’t gamble it that night. Unfortunately, I rarely win and this smack talk will be thrown in my face at the next poker night as I leave the table with empty pockets and a mouth full of crow.
I have decided that I am no longer going to post comments to other people’s Facebook posts. I will still publish my own posts which people are free to comment on, but I am out of the commenting on other’s posts business. Frankly, my comments are usually funnier, wittier, and more well thought out than the original poster and it’s getting to be a little embarrassing how I continually upstage the author. If this upsets you, blame yourself for not being funnier.
James Van Der Beek and I are now Facebook friends. I think that after a few months of messaging back and forth (I’m still awaiting his reply to the 17 messages that I’ve sent him) I’m going to suggest that he get together all of the cast from “Varsity Blues” and we recreate the house party where Billy Bob pukes in the washing machine. Or we could recreate the one where Tweeter stole the cop car (was that the same party?). Oh, and then I’ll ask Ali Larter to don the whipped cream bikini for me. It will be a smashing good time.
Hopefully if that works out, we could then get the Dawson’s Creek gang back together too and have a party where we talk about our feelings and discuss things that are way too mature for a high schooler to be thinking about and other boring things that would make me want to drown myself in that creek. Maybe I’ll just grab Katie Holmes, tell her that her husband is a moron, use the same head games he used on her to make her fall in love with me, and head back to the Varsity Blues party. Maybe Miss Davis will stop by and do a little dance for us.
My co-workers suck. Not one of them reads my blog. I feel safe in writing this because not one of them will actually see this to be able to be offended by it. You all suck! I would love for one of them to call me out on it : ) I’ll start the clock….now!
Saw Toy Story 3 again with Ben this weekend. I didn’t cry this time but it was a really close call.
Speaking of going to the movies, I wanted to make you all aware of the AWESOME deal that Wehrenberg Theatres has on Sunday afternoons. Adult tickets are $7.25 while kids get in for only $7.00. Yep, they’re a whole .25 cheaper. Why bother? After tickets and snacks from the concession stand, Ben and I got to spend a nice afternoon together for the low low price of $30.00.
From now on, if it isn’t playing at the Lincoln, we’re waiting for the DVD.
I just got an email from my sister chastising me for my love of Lindsay Lohan. She mentioned that Robert Shapiro, the same morally upstanding guy who defended OJ Simpson, had quit as Lindsay’s attorney. My only defense to that is that he must not have trusted himself around her bewitching good looks and, therefore, had to resign as counsel to protect both his business and his heart. I can’t see any other reasons.
Eh, I’m done. I really think I wrote this entire thing because I wanted to make the joke about not liking gay people. And truthfully, it wasn’t that funny. I guess that’s why no one pays me to write this shit.
Just got a call from Carol informing me that Ben just said “I don’t have a tail, I have a wiener.”
That’s my boy
Thanks for reading
That is so straight
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