King of my Castle

Due to my extreme case of heartburn this morning and my awareness of exactly what caused it, I decided to pen this little ditty.

Sung to the tune of the Gambler


On a warm summers evening, In a car bound for nowhere
I passed a White Castle, but I was just too tired to eat
Then my mouth started droolin’ out the window at the building
The hunger overtook me, I pulled a u turn in the street

The voice in the box said, “Welcome to White Castle”
I said give me ten cheeseburgers, a large coke and some fries
He said “if you don’t mind me saying, I can tell you’ve been out drinking
For a dollar and a penny more, I’ll give you some advice”

Pulled up and gave him my Visa, and he ran it through the reader
Gave me back my receipt, put some napkins in my bag
And the night got deathly quiet, and his face lost all expression
Said, “if you’re gonna eat White Castle, tomorrow’s gonna be bad

So you’ve got to know when to hold ‘em, but if you can’t hold ‘em
Know when to walk away, and know when to run
You never trust your belly, when you’ve eaten at White Castle
They’ll be time enough for gambling, after you’ve had some Tums

Now every drinker knows the secret to surviving,
Is knowing when to call it quits and grab something to eat
And though Denny’s tastes really good, Denny’s is for losers
And the best you can hope for is a 20 minute wait to seat

So when he’d finished speaking, he went back inside the window,
Grabbed my food and my drink, then handed it to me
Then early that next morning, The White Castle it got even
But in my medicine cabinet I found some possible relief.

But you’ve got to know when to hold ‘em, but if you can’t hold ‘em
Know when to walk away, and know when to run
You never trust your belly, when you’ve eaten at White Castle
They’ll be time enough for gambling, after you’ve had some Tums


Wierd Al would pay me a fortune for this.

Thanks for reading