Randumb Thoughts: The I-forgot-to-write-a-99th-blog-before-posting-the-Century Club-so-you're-now-stuck-with-this-half-assed-attempt edition.

Apparently, you can’t have a 100th blog entry unless you first write a 99th. As a result, I will be forced to delay telling you about the rowdiness that was the Century Club until I post another blog. Without giving too much away, I can tell you that four of us attempted to achieve this milestone and that I went to sleep pretty early after I was done. That’s all you get for now. But, in order to fulfill my obligation of using that story as my 100th blog, today I will give you yet another dose of Randumb Thoughts.

The funny thing about Christmas is that even though we had no get-togethers at our house, we still cleaned really well beforehand so that it would look nice on Christmas morning. Why do we do this? After just 3 minutes of opening presents there were enough boxes, bows, piles of wrapping paper, little twist ties that attach toys to the back of the box that only someone with childlike fingers can untwist, and various other parts and pieces laying on the floor that you can’t even tell your house has ever been clean. Next year, we’re not cleaning until after Christmas. Screw that – after New Years.

I was going to complain about how absolutely spoiled my son is with all of the toys he got for Christmas and the fact that we have absolutely nowhere to put them, but just now the hum of the 46” plasma HDTV that we received from my freaking awesome parents rung in my ear a little and I realized that I’d better just be quiet.

I also received a bathrobe for Christmas. I haven’t had a robe in years. I also don’t think that I’ll be taking it off anytime soon. In fact, I’m enjoying it and wearing it so much during my little vacation here that I’m only a joint and a white Russian away from becoming the Dude.

Suddenly, I feel the need to go bowling.

I turned 34 today. Coincidentally, my waist has also gone up in age. I’ve been playing catch up all of my life and I’m hoping that within the next two years (dear God, let it be only two years) my age will finally exceed my waist size. I’m sure the Chuckwagon and birthday cake that I’ll be consuming tonight isn’t going to help facilitate that in the least.

I tried snowboarding on Christmas day. That didn’t work out so well. I also did a little bit of sledding and had a ton of fun until I decided to be Super Sledding Guy and did a little running jump onto the flat plastic sled. Ideally when you do that you’re going to land chest first and really get some momentum going to carry you swiftly down the hill. Unfortunately, landing hips first does not give you more speed but instead takes your breath away and makes the twig part of your twig and berries hurt for about the next hour or so.

The DirecTV guy had to come over yesterday to install an HD receiver and satellite for our new TV. I knew we’d be getting a new satellite but I incorrectly assumed that they would simply replace the one that resides on the side of our house. Unfortunately, it had to be installed on the roof that is very steep and still very much covered in snow. That wouldn’t have been so bad had they sent someone who was capable of doing that, but instead they sent over somebody with a case of gout so bad in his knee that he could barely walk. I know it was gout because as we were sitting in the living room waiting for the satellite to program he told me about it. All about it. I didn’t care. I just wanted my HD signal.

Speaking of birthdays, my present from Carol has miraculously appeared back in the living room. It's wrapped this time and is no longer just hiding under a pink blanket, but the torture is just the same. I's been out there now for three days. I'm not sure if she was always this mean or if she learned it from me, but she is as awesome as she is evil.

You know what? Screw it. I’m done. It’s my birthday, it’s 9:30 in the morning and I should be playing Star Wars: The Force Unleashed 2 on my Wii instead of writing some stupid blog that no one cares about anyway because it’s not the one about the Century Club. Everybody have a great day and look back here on Friday 12/31 for the blog about the Century Club. Once I watch the video I’ll have a better grasp on what happened, but I don’t think I can look at alcohol quite yet. Give me another day or so.

Take care

Thanks for reading.