Good Vibrations

I may get in trouble for writing this one.

Back in the days when Carol and I first started dating, I was living at my buddy Chris’s condo in Bellevegas, IL. Carol and I had known each other since college, but had just recently reconnected and began dating. At this time, Carol was living with her sister and brother-in-law and their two children in a house in Shiloh and really didn’t have much privacy to speak of. As a result, any time that Carol and I wanted to be alone, we usually ended up over at my place.

After Carol and I had been dating for awhile, we realized that rather than have her driving home late at night after more than one cocktail had been imbibed, maybe she should just begin spending the night at my place. Being the gentlemen that I am, I of course offered her my bed while I slept on the couch downstairs, but Carol would have none of that and insisted that I sleep in my own bed. Seeing that it was a California king, there was little chance of us making contact with each other, much less even knowing that there was even someone in the same bed. Not wanting to upset my lovely new lady-friend, I hesitantly agreed to this proposed sleeping arrangement and our first sleep over was scheduled.

I should note here that this was not our first actual sleepover as we had once slept in the same bed in college. We were both dating other people and were very loyal to them, but a bunch of people had been watching a movie in my room and Carol and I had fallen asleep on my ground level mattress (yes, the one I later puked on via the Cheegle Incident). Being the good people that we are, we maintained our trustworthiness and slept back-to-back the entire night on a twin sized mattress. I have never had a worse night sleep in my entire life.

Anyway, when the time came to get ready for bed I went into the bathroom to change into my jammies and to wash up. When I came out Carol passed me in the hall with her overnight bag and said that she’d be back in a minute.

I didn’t really know what to expect at this point. Since we are both very moral and righteous individuals I assumed that if our relationship progressed to the next level that we would become husband and wife and consummate our relationship at that time. Now, I had heard stories of people doing that kind of thing prior to marriage and may have even engaged in that practice myself once or twice, but I knew Carol was a very morally upstanding girl so I figured that once she came to bed that we would turn the lights out and get a good night’s rest on opposite sides of the bed (after saying our prayers, of course).

But then I heard something.

I wasn’t sure what I heard, but I knew that I had never heard that sound come out of the bathroom before. Both Chris and I used that bathroom regularly and I had never seen anything in there that would emit such a sound. Curiosity left me no other choice but to get out of bed and move closer to the door to determine exactly what the noise was and as I got closer I froze in my tracks.

It was a buzzing noise. It was a buzzing noise that immediately set my mind adrift and my hormones in motion. It was buzzing as if something battery operated had been turned on and was being used in preparation for the night ahead.

HOLY SHIT! What kind of freak am I dating here? My mind immediately began to race as to what to do next. Was I ready for this? If she’s in there doing what I think she’s doing, am I going to know enough to make what I was pretty sure was going to happen next worth her while? Apparently she wasn’t the morally upstanding girl that I had previously credited her as being but instead was some sex crazed pervert who couldn’t even wait until she got to bed to get started. This was totally freaking me out – but in a good way. I had always dated nice girls and, a few interesting nights aside; everything had always been pretty “vanilla.” But this girl was freaky. This was going to be fun. REALLY fun.

As I hopped back into bed thinking of the incredible night that I was about to have with Grand Mistress Freakmaster and how we were going to keep Chris awake all night with the noise coming out of my bedroom, I heard the buzzing stop. I was really hoping that it was because the battery had died because if she was shameless enough to do that in the bathroom while knowing the entire time that I was able to hear, what would she want to do with it next? Would she want me to use it on her? Even scarier, would she want to use it on me? I was willing to be adventurous with my newly found sex fiend, but that seemed a little excessive, especially for our first excursion. But on the other hand, I really liked her and if it would make her happy I’d be willing to try anything once…

Luckily, before I was able to finish that train of thought and come to any type of decision on the possibility of her using that thing on me (pretty sure it would have been “no” – pretty sure) Carol emerged from the bathroom. Much to my relief, she did not run into the room holding a large vibrator in her hands with the intention of doing horrible things to my virginal rectum. Instead, what she was holding was a Sonicare electric toothbrush. I quickly let out a sigh of relief but, in that same breath, realized that I would in fact be going straight to bed that night. That was the second worse night of sleep I have ever had in my entire life.

That’s what I get for dating/marrying good girls.

Thanks for reading.