Things That I Strongly Dislike (today)

Things that I strongly dislike (today):


Mean people

St Louis Cardinals

Detroit Redwings

Always running out of batteries/light bulbs

Losing – at anything

Tequila

Hangovers

The “c” word

The fact that Mike and Mike in the Morning on ESPN radio discuss NFL football year round and always at the time that I’m driving to work

Mock NFL drafts

Stale bread

People who can’t properly utilize the English language (if everyone else says something one way, why do you think your usage of “We was” is appropriate?)

Being crabby enough to write a list of things that I strongly dislike

Girls who wouldn’t sleep with me when I was single

The periodic table of elements

Not knowing what’s for lunch in the cafeteria because whoever’s job it is to post the menu in the break room never does so in time for lunch on Monday

Bugman

Bats

The Olive Garden (should be further up on the list right by tequila and hangovers)

The fact that Nickelback should be on this list but I can’t put them on here because there are actually a few songs that I don’t mind
Admitting to liking a few Nickelback songs

Oprah

My hairline

Justin f*cking Beiber

West Coast road trips where the games don’t start until 9:00 p.m. and end long after my bedtime.

The direction of Israel since Yitzhak Rabin’s assassination. As things are developing under this new leadership, there would seem to be little doubt that full control over the “West Bank” will be transferred to the PLO, to Arafat and to his 30,000 soldiers (disguised as policemen). Few doubt that before too long unless there is an early change in the Israeli government a Palestinian state will come into existence in the “West Bank” and in Gaza; that the Golan will be handed over to Syria in exchange for vague promises; and that Jerusalem, where the PLO ( in total contravention of the Declaration of Principles ) already maintains de facto government offices, will be divided with the western half being the capital of a diminished and vulnerable Israel and the eastern half, the capital of the new Palestinian state. While under Rabin’s leadership, each Israeli concession to the Arabs would be matched by a corresponding Arab concession and that Israel’s security interests would be kept foremost in mind, there now seems to be a headlong rush into “peace at any price”, without proper respect for Israel’s security interests and ultimately for its survival.

Wet farts

Getting busted while staring at someone’s cleavage

Being stuck in the elevator with any of the following people: smelly people, small-talk people, people that I dislike, people who dislike me, executives, Jimmy-Johns delivery guys, the four people who all went on their smoke break together and are now piling into the same elevator together reeking of smoke and sweat, and Liz Klingele (she’s very judgmental in her Facebook posts).

The need to capitalize “Facebook” or else MS Word labels it as a misspelling

The Taliban

Shaving

Blowing my nose at my desk and then worrying about any hangers that I may have missed

My squeaking brakes

Not knowing what that hard thing in my hamburger was and swallowing it prior to being able to spit it out

People who are good at karaoke (if you can sing well and want to get on stage, join a band)

Going from pale to sunburned to peeling and back to pale while skipping “tan” altogether

People in Cleveland who feel “betrayed” by Lebron James. It’s like they’re the dorky guy in college who is dating a hot girl freshman year because they were the cute couple back in high school together. All of a sudden, college has offered her more exposure and every guy on campus wants a taste of that young talent. Seriously, you knew how it was going to end. Get over it.

Burt Young





Alarm clocks

Leaky basements

Every Baldwin (except for maybe Alec because he’s kind of funny now that he’s older and fatter but that rant against his daughter was still totally unacceptable)

The beeping I hear as I walk past the loading dock doors of an abandoned building I pass every day on my way to and from work. Is it an alarm? Is it a motion sensor? Am I doing something wrong? Have they labeled me as a “person of interest?” STOP BEEPING!!!

Paranoid people

SPAM (the e-mail, not the “meat.” I LOVE the “meat”)

People who want me to do work for them even though they’re not my boss

Being helpful

The fact that the last I saw, Joel McHale was sucking face with Allison Brie on “Community” and they’ve had an entire summer to do whatever they want without it being documented for their show. Joel, so help me God if you have taken away any of her innocence I will travel directly to the set of “The Soup” of “Community” or whatever show it is that you’ve whored yourself out to this time around and I will stomp a mud hole in your perfectly ripped and well proportioned upper body.

The fact that one of my lesbian friends told me on Saturday night that she thought I could be gay (that’s when I whipped out the picture on my cell phone of my medical file which clearly states that I’m “not gay”)

Ziggy (seriously, has anyone ever laughed at a Ziggy cartoon? Ever?)

Family Circus (please see above)

The player AND the game

Cats

The fact that I was just my own 500th visitor to my website to verify that I had never written a list of things that I strongly disliked before.

Not being able to come up with a decent topic for a blog so instead I’m forced to write a list of things that I strongly dislike

But I do like all of you (unless you fall into one of the categories listed above. If so, maybe we’ll get along better tomorrow)


Thanks for reading