I want to write today but can’t think of any stories, so I’ll just give some Randumb thoughts.
I find it funny that despite her “celebrity” status, I’d probably be more ashamed of banging Snooki than she would be of banging a nobody like me.
You can follow me on Twitter if you’d like @scottyhop76 but I really only tweet at porn stars and professional wrestlers even though they never respond. In all reality, it’s pretty sad. In fact, don’t even bother. Forget I ever mentioned it.
The previous statement is funny because it’s 100% true.
I have been informed that I drink girl coffee. Personally, I see nothing unmanly about drinking a cup of coffee with two French vanilla creamers. It tastes great while I’m getting my mani/pedi.
I really wish my boss would close her door while she’s on her speaker phone so that I can concentrate on writing my blog while at work.
Regarding the Snooki comment; I’d still do it, but I’d be ashamed.
Grease 2 came out 30 years ago this year and I still can’t go bowling without singing this song:
We're Gonna Score Tonight
By the way, doesn’t Zmed sound like a dirty word?
And, yes, that is a young Shooter McGavin.
My son gets X’s at school when he is bad. On a normal day, he usually gets one X. The other day he got five X’s. Five. I’d like to pretend that I’m not impressed by that, but you’ve really got to try hard to get 5 X’s. I wish I possessed that type of dedication.
That gets me thinking about how many X’s I’d accumulate in a day of my normal life. Pretty sure I’d have at least two before even finishing my first cup of girl coffee.
My director, a black woman, just came to my desk and heard that I was listening to Sam Cooke. I felt strangely obligated to explain myself, as if I was not allowed to enjoy “black” music, by mentioning how soulful he was. Yes, I said “soulful.” Pretty sure she is now on the phone in her office laughing with all of her black friends about the dorky white guy who was listening to the “soulful” Sam Cooke. If I was any whiter I’d be clear.
Now, I feel strangely obligated to defend myself for the above statement by making another statement that proves I’m not a racist. I blame this unnecessary guilt on attending an almost all-white private school.
I’m not a racist. I’m really not. I have many black friends.
I don’t think I’m helping myself.
Maybe I’ll deflect by making fun of “the gays”
Nope
Anyways, I just read a story about a Belleville Diocesan priest who is being relieved of his duties because he ad-libs part of the mass. Really? A priest can do unspeakable things to a child and the church will pay out millions in damages to the victims ALL WHILE ONLY MAKING THE PRIEST TAKE A TEMPORARY LEAVE OF ABSENCE, but a guy goes off script a bit and they ask for his resignation? With priorities like those, I am now feeling that much better about my chances of getting into heaven.
Let’s see: race, religion…
Ah! Politics! In this space I would like to make fun of politicians, most notably the ones that have opinions that differ from mine. Fortunately, I have the common sense to not get into a political debate on issues when I am ill-equipped with both proper information and/or concern. I don’t care about politics and, as a result, I will refrain from commenting directly on them. Don’t you wish your politicians acted the same way on issues?
I got a Kindle Fire for Christmas which allows me to download books, music, and apps, browse the web, subscribe to newspapers and other informational publication and basically have the entire world wide web at my fingertips in any Wi-Fi enabled environment. I have the power to be the most well-informed person in the world. My most used application? The Fart Sounds app.
My director just came back to my desk asking if I was a fan of Barry Manilow. I’m pretty sure she’s just mocking me now.
Thanks for reading.
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