Still The Same but Totally Not

So, it's been a while since I blogged regularly. It's been so long that I'm not even sure that people blog anymore. Do they? Or is everything done via video now? Between all of the different social media sites for pictures and videos I'm not sure anyone reads anymore. I AM sure that not many are going to read this, and that's okay. I'm honestly good with it. I wrote regularly back in the day because I like to make people smile and I like attention but I'm writing now because I missed it. I missed this outlet of writing to write and not worrying about research and facts and editing and all that jazz. It was for fun and I enjoyed it immensely. Let's hope that continues.

While we're here, let's take advantage of this time to list many (but definitely not all) of the major events that have happened in my life so that we're all up to date. Most of these will be out of order as my concept of time is definitely slipping in my old age but the main goal is trying to capture as much as possible without oversharing which I do a lot. Oh well. Here's what has happened:

I quit smoking (7 years now)

The Cubs won the World Series

The Blues won the Stanley Cup

I am officially over Lindsay Lohan

I am still at war with Joel McHale

I traded in the Buick Lesabre for a Scion

Carol traded in the Kia for an Escape

We traded in the boy for case of beer and some Milk Duds

I sold all of my records so that I could buy a PS3

I bought a PS3

I bought my records back

We (Carol, boy, and I) went to Universal Studios

Carol began playing Roller Derby

Carol broke her wrist

Boy won a coloring contest for the entire state and was invited to Springfield, IL for an awards ceremony where he received a free Kindle (and a certificate of achievement).

I traded in the Scion for a Chevy

We, sadly, lost our sweet Tiny Fancypants to doggie cancer. We miss her every day

We, gladly, lost our dumbass cat Mr Belvedere back to the Humane Society because he was more of an asshole than even the most asshole of cats are.

We got new flooring in the house (not at all related to the asshole cat mentioned above)

The Cubs won the World Series

I donated a kidney

Our neighbor ran over our recycling bin

Carol broke her leg and had surgery to correct it

Boy began taking lessons for both piano and saxophone and is really good at both

I went to the Indy 500 with cousins and dads

The Blues won the Stanley Cup

Carol and I started with a personal trainer who kicks our ass 2x a week

Carol and I started badmouthing personal trainers

I turned 40 (amongst other birthdays - just thought this was an important one to mention)

We quarantined

We socially distanced

Carol went to China for work

We did NOT win the lottery

Carol broke her collarbone and had surgery to correct it

We adopted a new puppy named Professor Ringo Valentino Hopfinger

We quickly realized that, based on mental acuity, maybe "professor" is a rather lofty and undeserved title

We adopted a 9 year old fart of a chihuahua named Chico.

The people we traded boy for brought him back because they can't afford to feed him because he's now 13 and eats ALL. OF. THE. TIME.

I went through a month long fascination with scotch (particularly Lagavulin) that lasted up until the point I actually tasted scotch

I binge watched the following series: Parks and Rec, The Office, The Good Place, The West Wing, Vikings, Breaking Bad, Barry, Archer, and countless others that I can't even remember right now

I went through a comic book phase

I took up golf again

I became a cowboy

I threw out the first pitch at a (blech) St Louis Cardinal game (look at that form)

I joined Pinterest

I deleted Pinterest

The Cubs won the World Series

The Blues won the Stanley Cup

Carol made the Internationally ranked All-Star team of her Roller Derby league

I didn't write blogs

I listened to almost every album on the Rolling Stone top 500 albums of all time list (which was an AMAZING experience)

Carol and I began running the boy's schools' weekly Bingo

I did NOT learn about punctuation and proper placement of apostrophes. 

Finally pierced my other nipple

Carol and I took a trip with the cousins to Colorado

I got a PS4

I traded in my Chevy for a Cadilac-ac-ac-ac-ac-ac

I made up some stuff to make this list longer

I deleted some stuff to make this list less vulgar

Oh, and the Cubs won the World Series and the Blues won the Stanley Cup



I may delve more into many of these topics for future entries. I may not. I may just start drinking heavily again so that I do more stupid stuff worth writing about. I probably won't. We'll see how this goes. I can tell you that even this stupid post felt good to write.


Thanks for reading