Wow.
A lot sure has changed since I last blogged regularly. A WHOLE lot. A WHOLE WHOLE lot. I mean, shit, it's been almost 10 years. Of course a lot has changed. But then again, a lot of things also remain the same. I'm motivated to give an update to almost everything I've previously written about but that would take forever (or, simply, more time than I'm willing to spend). But there are so many changes that I can' wait to address.
But first, let me begin at where this started.
For the past few weeks I've been receiving notifications that my old blog had been getting views which prompted two questions from me 1) Who? and more importantly, 2) WHY?!!?? Additionally, Carol let it slip to some of her Roller Derby teammates (entire blog on Roller Derby later) a few nights ago that I had a blog which, given the very wide ranging spectrum of personality types, sexual preferences, and gender identities, gave me a bit of pause. She told me that after mentioning it and then posting a link, she decided to remove it because in my blog about the Century Club I referred to something as being "gay". I did use it and I shouldn't have and I offer no excuse. I know better and should absolutely have not used it in that fashion. It 100% won't happen again. For that one, I am very sorry.
That being said, I wanted to re-read my blogs to see if I had any other instances of that or any other kind of stupidity from my 30+ year old self. So, I re-read them ALL and what I found was that I relied on people knowing the actual me as opposed to the "me" in the blog. The real me is not racist, sexist, or any other negative "ist" that you can think of. I love most everyone and want people to be happy as long as that happy doesn't infringe on the rights of others. Yes, that's broad and vague but it's meant to be as I'm not a huge fan of absolutes. The "me" that was portrayed in the blog often took a sexist tone (all tongue-in-cheek) and sometimes went a little further than that to really drive home whatever joke I was making. Again, I relied on readers knowing the real me to understand that that me does not feel that way whatsoever making the words on the paper that much more shocking and humorous. I may have been wrong in doing that, but I don't apologize.
The me that wrote the blog does so to make people laugh, smile, and occasionally think. The "me" that shows up on the page is a character. Sure, it's a lot of the real me in those stories but mostly it is an over-the-top egomaniac (I'm just a normal ego-maniac) saying whatever he thinks will get the biggest laugh. Did I tell truthful stories? Mostly. Did I go too far sometimes? Maybe. Did I ever cross a forbidden line and say something grossly offensive to a group of people that may have led to people thinking I was someone other than a dude behind a keyboard trying to have some fun? I hope not. I always wrote with the intention that my mother would read whatever I was writing and tried to stay within the realm of what she would deem acceptable. I'm sure I crossed her line a few times, but that's to be expected when your son writes a blog about her future daughter-in-law using a battery operated buzzing device in the bathroom during our first "sleepover" that turned out to be nothing but a toothbrush.
Does that information get me off the hook for anything potentially offensive that I may have written? That's up to you. There are a few blogs I'd like to take back but I won't because I am what I am, warts and all. To cover anything up at this point would be disingenuous and that's just not my way. I leave it out there for you to enjoy and critique. If I'm an ass, tell me. If you laugh, tell me. If you cry, (only when I want you to and not because it's just a really shitty piece of writing) tell me. But, if I've gone too far and you think a joke is too gross, it's best if you don't tell me. I'll probably only use it as motivation to push your buttons even more. : )
What I'm saying is this: I want to write more. I plan on writing more right here on this blog. I don't know how often I'll write (hoping weekly), what I'll write about, or if it will be fact, fiction, humor, preachy stuff...I really have no clue. I don't have many talents in this world but being able to write at a slightly above mediocre standard is one of them. I'd like to make you laugh at my short-comings again. I'd like to play with your heartstrings with sappy stories again. I'd like to invite you all along for wherever this road my lead. But please know that I'm going to write some stupid things KNOWING that they are stupid things. I'm going to write some offensive things KNOWING that they are offensive things. All I ask is that you know that what you are reading is an amped up version of me that has become an idiotic character for your amusement. That character isn't exactly PC but that character usually learns a lesson at his own expense. Ideally, you'll know when it's the character and when it's just good ol' dumbass Scott.
See how I've matured in the past 10 years?
My official first blog back will be about pleasuring myself with chocolate pudding.
By eating it, you sick jerks!
I would NEVER tell you the other story...
Thanks for reading (It's nice to be back)
Scotty
